The Thing about Grace

Relational conflict and the angst it produces can rob us of peace and devour our time. And for us older folks, there is little time to squander. I love how realistic the Bible is in its admonition to “try to the best of your ability to be at peace with everyone.” So, to the extent we are able, we need to make amends, lead with grace, and just plain let go. (Also, bear in mind that holding a grudge can provoke depression, chest pain, indigestion, and a host of other unwelcome ailments to our delicate constitutions!)

Have you heard the phrase, “Extra Grace Required”? It is a descriptor of how to relate to those in our lives who trigger resentment, anger, or an unforgiving heart. My own mother was at times an EGR person – quick to point out wrinkles, weight fluctuations, hair color choices, and clothing faux-pas. I would be summoned to her bedroom for a “talk” – one that would begin with, “Only your mother will tell you…”

I would seethe.

But then the word, grace, would prompt me to ask – How had my mother related to her own mother? What was the environment she experienced in her childhood and young adulthood? As I pondered this in my heart, my focus turned to my mother’s attributes. Her faith in God, her intelligence, her sense of fashion, her zest for life. She had become a Christian at a Billy Graham Crusade in 1958 and was in the process of ongoing transformation.

We are in this process as well. We are all EGR individuals.

And to forgive, to lavish grace on each other, to see the why’s behind unkind words, to keep no record of wrongs… this is the way of Jesus.

Paul described it in 1 Corinthians 13.

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud  or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

So in this one and only life we have been given, let us not wallow away time in unforgiveness. Rather, let us be grace-filled and love-overflowing. And where we fall short, let us pray to the one who lavishes grace on us when we are at our EGR worst.

I have a hunch that Jesus cares more about the status of our hearts than he does our clothing choices. In fact, he may even like my hair color which is mysteriously getting blonder with age!